Zim Membrane
by freakishly
Summary: after zim and dib got into yet another fight, membrane invites zim to dinner... talk things over, but what happens if membrane becomes really fond of zim and starts replacing dib as a son?
1. fight!

i thought Invader Johnny had an intresting challenge, so i took it... but i'm probably disqualified due to late submiting and the story not being complete... but i'm liking how the story is going... so im submiting it...

_freakishly_

* * *

It was honestly an accident really... I would have never thought of doing such thing... stealing a plumpity heart from someone else but it was that... grrr... Dib's fault! He, ooh, almost had me revealed! Of my secret identity, again! He had to repay for that!

It just started like a day like any other...

"Hey! Look everybody look! I'm tellin' ya! Zim's an alien!" the icky Dib cried out to all the other squealing piggie humans playing in their germ dwelling apparatus.

As usual, they paid no heed.

Dib turned back to me, huffing and puffing. "I know what's in that sliver tin lunchbox Zim!" he cried out. "One of your secret weapons to destroy Earth!" He pointed a vicious sausage finger at me.

Yes, too true, I admit, the lunchbox did seem suspicious... to the seeming paranoia! It was GIR's idea, my robot slave, it twas he who thought that carrying lunchboxes around at skool would make me appear more... human. I thought it just gave him another reason to make me those awfully scrumptious waffles.

"For your information, Dib!" I yelled. "I'm carrying a lunchbox stuffed with waffles and chocolate pudding!"

"Pft! Like I'm going to believe that!" Dib sneered. "I know what you're hiding Zim, surrender yourself in the name of earth!" he yelled.

He also spat a little at the last part.

"Stupid human! Didn't I just tell you?" I yelled. "It's a lunchbox!"

"Give it to me Zim!" Dib yelled cornering me to a wall.

I had no choice silly reader, I had to defend myself. Its one of the Irkren Invaders code, if your enemy corners you to the wall, trying to get your lunchbox, you attack viciously. So, I got a small yet powerful weapon hidden in my PAK. It was my favorite too, heheh. It could destroy ten human heads with one shot. So I aimed carefully at his big stupid head.

"Prepare to be exterminated Dib!" I shouted. Mwahahahahahahahaha!

But that earth monkey did something unexpected. He lounged at me and tried to get my ray gun. We toppled on the filthy floor, wrestling to get hold of the gun. I guess the human adult on his supervision post saw us fight hugging and he came over to stop it.

"'ey, 'ey you guyz knock it off!" he said. Oh the nerve of his nasally voice.

"He started it!" I shouted, struggling to get out of the humans grasp.

"No he did!" Dib defended himself, struggling the same.

"You guyz are comin' with me," the nasal adult said.

The principle man was a mean scary human and acted like if he were an Almighty Tallest. The nasal human dropped us in seats in front of his desk.

"You'll never catch Zim alive!," I yelled. Trying to disturb them in someway. "Doooooooom to all of you!"

"Zim!" that earth monkey Dib said. "They already did,"

Grrrr! He was right! I growled at him.

"So what seems to be the problem?" the principle man asked, eating a pencil.

"Zim was attacked by this obnoxious human!" I shouted. "He tried to get my poodding!"

"He is an alien cant you see? He's carrying a weapon to destroy earth in that lunchbox!" Dib yelled.

The principle man looked at both of us, deciding who the real lunatic is. Of course, I know he was choosing Dib, but for some reason, the principle man stared at me for the longest time.

"Iiiiiiiz there something wrong Mr. Principle?" I asked, tapping my claws together.

He stared at me quite uncomfortably.

"what happened to your eye boy?" he asked, little creeped out.

"What about it? It's a human eye! It's assure you!" I yelled.

The principle man got his reflecting mirror from his desk. He showed it to me. Then I screamed and toppled over. No, it wasn't because the reflecting light blinded me, well, it did, but that wasn't it my human reader! It was that my hair wig it was messy and my right antenna was popping out, and my left contact! It gone missing!

Dib looked at my red eye. He gasped exictedly. "See principle see! I told you! I told you! He's a real alien!"

"An... alien?" the principle man said quite stupidly slow.

"Yes! Yes! Call the media! This is huge!" Dib shouted. He started hyperventalating.

"an... alien," the principle man repeated. A string of drool hanged on his chin. I guess his tiny brain was feverishly trying to process the phrase.

Fortunately, my brain can process thoughts far faster than his. "Yes this is my red eye sillies!" I said. "But it was because Dib punched me and gave me this red eye!"

The principle suddenly turned on as if someone punched him in his sleep. He looked at me suspiciously with one hair brow high on his forehead. His human eyes glared at me.

"That makes sense," he suddenly said. "Dib I believe we have to call your father,"

"Noooo!" the earth monkey hooted. "His antenna, his antenna! What about his antenna?"

"His... antennae?" the stupid human male repeated.

"Its where... I take my medicine... for my skin disease... I wear the wig to cover it," I tried to smile to make my lie believable.

"Well that makes even more sense," the silly principle man replied. He frowned at Dib. Then he pushed a button on this tely-phone like machine.

"Call command," he ordered his machine. "Dib Membrane's parent,"

"Calling... Professor Membrane," the machine answered. "Would you like an ice mocha with that sir?"

Hmm... It was more obedient than GIR.

It didn't take long for this... Professor Membrane to arrive. He arrived in a longish vehicle and he came in a floating sliver screen. Odd, Dib's father is a machine?

"Principle?" he called as the floating screen came in. "where is my son?"

"Sir," the principle said. "he physically harassed a student here for being... green,"

"What?" Dib exclaimed. "No I didn't! He attacked me!"

"Now, now son," the Membrane said. "Remember what the physiatrist said,"

"He did! I swear! Hes got a laser gun from his backpack he always carries around!" the big fat head said.

"Oh son, you and your paranormal fascination," the Membrane sighed. The screen of the floating monitor glitched a bit. "Come, let's go home,"

Dib stood up from his chair and followed his floating master out. But he pointed a menacing finger at me.

"One day Zim, one day," he whispered.

"Foolish human," I growled and I bit that finger.

"Yeeeaaaoww!" Dib cried.

The monitor and principle turned around.

"What is it now son?" the Membrane said.

"He bit me!" Dib screeched. "Look its oozing and foaming!"

Dib's finger oozed out puss as his weak blood cells tried to fight my Irken germs off.

"Maybe he's hungry," the Membrane said. "Son, why don't you invite him to dinner?"

"What?" Dib exclaimed. "Never,"

The floating screen came up to me and the Membrane with large goggle eyes and lab coat that covers his face looked at me. "I'm terribly sorry for my son's behavior but would you like to come over at our house and have a chat? Talk things over?"

"No," I responded. A relative of Dib is no friend of mine. But then the stupid principle had to intrude to our conversation.

"Zim, I order you to go," the silly human said. "You and Dib should try to get along for once,"

I had no choice then I crossed my arms and mumbled. "What's for dinner human?"


	2. to invite!

"GIR I want this perimeter secured," I ordered my robot. "No piggies allowed!"

"Awww but I like de piggies," GIR whined.

Nothing is more annoying than hearing GIR whine, except for that Dib.

"Fine, you can bring one piggie over, but then that's it!" I ordered.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! We are going to order burritos!" GIR shouted.

"And no activating the computer in "x" mode," I added. I shuddered at he thought.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... I like pushin buttons," GIR said, sticking his little tongue out.

"Now do as I say! Or no biscuits for you!" I ordered.

He entered in sir mode, and for a few moments his eyes turned red like a real sir unit and shouted. "Sir, yes sir,"

"Now proceed," I said and stormed out.

GIR turned to his normal self again and shot a piggy out of his head.

I put on my contacts and adjusted my wig. _Only for a few moments_, I grumbled, _in the mean time you can look for Dib's weaknesses! Yes that's brilliant! mwahahahahaha! No one can stop Zim! From taking over the world!_ …

"You're gonna miss biscuits, you're gonna miss biscuits, you're gonna miss biscuits, you're gonna miss biscuits!" GIR interrupted with a filthy piggy on his head.

"Yes and we'll eat biscuits later," I said.

"And waffles?" GIR added.

"And waffles," I agreed.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" GIR exclaimed as he went out.

I never thought I would be standing in front of my enemy's door, waiting for dinner. But there I was, standing in front of my enemy's door.

I rang the door. No one answered. I punched the doorbell for the longest and the most annoying ring of a doorbell went into my ear sensors. Something opened the front door. It appeared to be a human girl, about my size. She stared at me with one eye opened. This purple haired human gave me an awkward feeling inside.

We stood quiet for a moment. I blinked.

"You must be Zim," the earth girl said, destroying the damned silence.

"Yes, I'm Zim," I replied not too surely. "Aren't you going to let me into your premises?"

"Who are you exactly?" that purple monkey asked.

"I'm a hooman! Like you! I'm Zim who loves earth and... Its inhabitants," I exclaimed, that weird earth monkey is already gaining up on me... if I only brought my favorite ray gun.

The human girl turned her back on me, leaving the door open.

I slowly stepped inside, not so sure of the dark room around me. The human girl led me to the kitchen, where they cook human foods, I sat on the chair and she did the same. We stared at each other for the longest. I blinked. Then Dib marched in hiding one hand behind his back. I pointed my finger at him to assure my superiority over him.

"Dib! You will pay for this!" I shouted. "You will pay for inviting me over to eat hooman foods,"

"But look what you've done to my finger!" Dib showed me his abnormally large pulsing bandaged finger, slicked with puss.

"It'll wear off," I said. "... Eventually!"

"Weridos," I heard the human girl mumble.

A large bang can be heard in the front room and a tall human male entered the kitchen perimeter. He appeared to be Dib's master on the floating screen but in fleshy form.

"Ah it's that strange friend of yours," the male greeted. "Zim, wasn't it?"

"Correct," I replied.

The Membrane took a seat near me. And Dib started poking his inflamed finger now growing more.

I stared at him. "If you poke it you'll soon grow chicken legs and we'll be serving you for dinner,"

Dib immediately stopped poking. The Membrane started laughing. "I like your sense of humor there," he laughed.

Dib frowned.

"Shall we eat?" the Membrane asked. "Daughter can you start the dinner?"

The human girl twitched her eye. "My pleasure," she spoke through her teeth.

She punched a button on the middle of the table and from above the disgusting smelly food came down from a lamp light cooked and served.

"Awww explodo beans again?" Dib complained.

"This is family night and we always eat beans on family nights," the Membrane said and started eating his plate of horrible beans.

I stared at my plate full of disgusting rancid smelling beans. If I ate just one smellie it would upset my stomach for a month. I looked around and saw Dib, human girl and the membrane eating theirs. I could just get sick watching them eat the smellies.

I grabbed my fork and started poking one around.

"Zim," someone called my name.

I got startled. "Wha-?" I called.

"Aren't you going to eat your beans?" the Membrane asked.

"Pretty unusual... 'ey dad?" that Dib said to his master, with a mouthful of mushed beans. "Don't you think that's pretty alien-like?" his eyeballs went big and bulgy for a moment.

"I don't like beans either Dib," that human girl said. "Does that make me alien?" she took a spoonful of smellies.

"Don't eat with your mouth full," the membrane said, spitting some out from his closed jacket.

"You said that last time," Dib continued. "And you still eat them,"

He took a spoonful of smellies.

I was about to throw up my insides as they went on "enjoying" their meal. Disgusting... where is GIR and his waffles when I needed it?

"So Zim," the Membrane spoke. "Where did your family come from?"

He's tying to figure me out I know it! I should have known! Dib's relatives are a bunch of weridos that think I'm an alien! Which I am! But... they are not supposed to find out!

"I-I came from Ger-an..." I tried to think of an earth province or something! Argh! I should have paid attention to the snake teacher when she was talking about it. Stupid skool education.

"... iskus?" I answered.

"Ger-an-iskus?" Dib and the Membrane mused.

"Is... that... European?" the Membrane asked.

"Yeeeeeeaaaah, yeees... Europe," I said. What on irk was that?

"Small place, but we provide for the world's supply of... waffles,"

They all stared at me for a moment as if I were insane! But my clever lie got to them... after that moment.

"Really?" the Membrane said. "Well, thank goodness for that,"

He ate some beans.

That monkey Dib still stared at me, of course, never believing a word I say.

"Dad, you are seriously believing that?" the human monkey called.

"Now son, we mustn't take for granted on small things such as waffles," the Membrane said.

"No! But the whole "Zim came from Geraniskus and makes our country's waffles". you are believing that?"

Oh! That Dib monkey is angering me at every syllable he breathes!

"Let me guess... thus proves your hypothesis of him being alien," the membrane mocked. "Yes, son I know,"

I snickered; even Dib's own master is tired of him and his "alien" thing. The purple monkey across from me is also making this weird noise from her throat... which I'm guessing is a chuckle.

That human monkey turned reddish with anger!

"Have you ever been to his house?" Dib exclaimed. "He has robotic parents and this weird, robotic dog-slave and a lab-"

"Wait!" the Membrane raised his gloved hand. He turned to me, his goggle eyes shined as he neared me, staring at me. I gulped. I took a look at Dib, who had an expression as if waiting for his master to say that I am an alien.

"You have robotic parents?" the Membrane asked"... Zim?"

"nnnnnyhhooo," I answered not too sure.

"But you do have robotic dog?" the membrane asked. That silly adult human! Making me waste my time answering stupid questions.

"Yes," I answered. Nyh, I could test my memory swipe on him later.

His goggle eyes turned wide. "And a lab?"

"My father owns the lab that I use," I said... like I said... memory swipe... mwahahaha.

The membrane stared at me then... "Ah! Brilliant!" he pounded his fists on the table.

"What?" Dib asked.

"This boy has a career in the engineering sciences!" the membrane exclaimed.

"Zim?" the Dib monkey shouted. "But-but,"

"He created a robotic dog," the membrane added. "Something I tried to accomplish when I was your age but only created as an acne-faced teen... Zim can be a very talented scientist indeed,"

"Huuuh?" Dib exclaimed. He had this look of shock and confusion... heheh it was funny looking at him that way.

"You must show your robot to me, you must!" the membrane exclaimed. He started patting my back. "Come to my studio tomorrow at 3 o' clock, and bring your robot with you, I must show this to the world, amazing child scientist,"

Then Dib smiled. "That is, if you can pass the tests and written exams,"

"Ahh, that reminds me," the membrane added. He gave me a small purple card. "Come to the studio with this and the security system will let you straight in,"

I looked at the card, this stupid plastic will let surpass security systems? Silly hoomans don't know anything.

"WHAT?" Dib screeched. "You never gave that to me, dad! I always have to do tests and written exams so I can go into your studio!"

"But this is a special occasion," the membrane spoke. "Now Zim hold on to this and don't fail me,"

"Right," I said. I wondered... maybe I can use this to my advantage...

"But... I'm your son," Dib whimpered.

Pitiful fool.

"I have to go now," I said. "I have to, make some adjustments to my, robot,"

"Excellent, I need it at its best," Membrane said. "Until tomorrow Zim,"

"Yeah... um until," I answered unsurely, holding my purple card.

before I left the Membrane house I took a look back and saw the Membrane waving goodbye, that freaky human girl staring at me and Dib, oh that Dib, he looked angrier ant me then ever before but he also looked, jealous. I smiled at the thought of provoking him more.

Right after I left I waved goodbye to Dib... with my purple card at hand.

Dib looked over at the kitchen window. He was turning green... literally...

But ha! I didn't care I have a plan! And no one, not even Dib can stop me. Because you know why? Silly human reader?

You find out later but I have something that Dib doesn't have!

No one can stop Zim! I AM ZIM! mwahahhahahahah ahahahahahhahah ahahahaha *cough* ... ha... hooo...


	3. begining of the end!

this first part of the chapter it is not from zim's point of view... just to let you know...

_freakishly_**_  
_**

* * *

"Didn't that freak just told you to stop poking that," Gaz said.

Dib didn't pay attention he just kept on poking his swollen finger and staring angrily at the TV.

"I can't wait to eat you for dinner then," Gaz added. She took a gulp of Poop! Soda.

"Nyhgh! That Zim! Gaah he is up to something for sure!" Dib twitched. He continued poking his finger.

"Well you are green with envy," Gaz murmured.

"What? I am not!" Dib exclaimed. "Zim is up to another plan to conquer earth that's all,"

"No, really you are green with envy," Gaz said.

"no!" Dib argued. "I am not jealous!"

Gaz opened a bulgy, bloodshot eye. "Look yourself in the mirror you freak!"

_Huh_? Dib went to the bathroom and looked in the cracked mirror. Dib gasped. "What?" he exclaimed. "Wha-whats happening?" he stared at his reflection and touched his face... to his great surprize... his skin... is turning to a light... green.

"GAZ! GAZ! What's happening to me?" Dib yelled.

He ran quickly to the living room where Gaz was watching the angry monkey show.

"How would I know?" Gaz mumbled.

"I don't know! I'm turning green though!" Dib shouted and started panicking.

"Your finger isn't that swollen," Gaz replied.

"Oh yeah..." Dib said, he stared at it for a moment before panicking again. "I'm telling you Zim is up to something evil!"

Pffft! "That guy wont think of something that complicated," Gaz replied.

"Oooo, I know he has a plan up his sleeve," Dib replied with some madness in his voice.

* * *

"One last time," I sighed. "I'll tell you my awfully ingenious plan,"

"*gasp*, yooooooooouuuuu have a plan?" GIR replied. "thats a first!"

"Yes and it's a very good one... wha-wait? What is that supposed to mean?" I asked. After the fourtyeth time of explaining my plan to GIR my brain was numbed.

"Mmmmmmmmm, I duh-no... you like biscuits? Heeeheeeheee!" GIR laughed.

"Actually master," the home base said. "That is quite a plan you got there... too complicated even for you,"

"What? Why are you guys mocking me? I have ingenious plans to conquer earth for Irk!" I shouted.

"Mmhmm yea, sure," the house base murmured.

"And once my plan is complete and taken over earth, you guys will regret what you said!"

"What plan?" GIR sqeaked.

"The plan for gaining Dib's fathers trust! That's what!" I shouted.

"What why?" GIR shouted. "What has that have to doo with anythin'!"

I sighed, forty-first time. "Dib's father has an interesting reputation in excelling in the sciences and advanced technology," I said. "Computer analyze Professor Membrane's records," I ordered.

The computer lit up a screen with a file of the Membrane's recent achievements and such in Irken code.

"He has invented weaponry that can even match Irken weapons! He's a dangerous genius!"

"A dangerous genius," GIR repeated, hypnotized by the computer's flashing colors.

"If I can gain his trust and get access to his laboratory I can use his advanced weapons into conquering earth!" I yelled. "I AM ZIM! mwahahahahahahaha!"

"Now how exactly you are going to get his trust?" the computer questioned.

"Replacing Dib-monkey... heheheh," I chuckled.

"Replacing the human?" the computer asked.

"It seems to me that professor membrane's true wish is to have a child that can take up his profession and live to his name," I explained. "If I can replace Dib and BEE just that! I can surely have his respect as well!"

After I explained the plan, everything went quiet except for the smacking sounds GIR was doing as he sucked on the computer keyboard.

"Sir?" the computer finally said. "I admit, compared to the other plans, I think this is brilliant, but replacing the adult humans own son is just cruel... and complicated... even for you,"

"LIES! And who are you to judge?" I snapped.

"Ummm... I'm an advanced interactive computer?" the computer replied.

"Right... just to tell you my plan is going to work, and no one is going to stop me from my revenge! er I mean and taking over the world!" I yelled.

"Uh master is it me or are you turning pale with excitement?" the computer pointed out.

"What do you mean I'm perfectly fine!" I shouted.

Your skin... is not a healthy green," the computer added. "you're almost turning... white,"

"Huh? Bring me a reflecting glass!" I ordered.

Immediately, the computer brought a hand mirror. And there I saw my face! It was a pale green! What? That Dib! He must have something to do with this!

"I have go back to normal, first I need you to analyze my tissue sample," I ordered.

"Yea, sure, but first can I ask you something?" it replied.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Can you get GIR out of my keyboard? His drool is getting to my hard drive," it answered.

"How can he drool? He's a robot!" I exclaimed.

"I don't know!" it shuddered. "I'm feeling wetness anyways... its creeping me out,"

"GIR!" I shouted.

He jumped off the keyboard and gave a small salute.

"Yeeeeeeeeeees?" GIR squeaked.

"Get off the computer!"

"I already deed!"

"Well don't do that again!" I ordered.

"Okiedookie!" GIR responded. "... I like you computer... you taste like waffles!"

GIR went over to the computer and hugged it. "Lets watch the angry monkey show!"

I groaned.

In the morning I put on my disguise and I had to get GIR in his clever disguise as well. "GIR!" I shouted. "Front and center at once!"

THUNK! The ringing metal screeched as GIR fell down from the ceiling... please, dont ask me how he got there.

"Yeeeeees master?" he squealed.

"Put on your puppy dog suit!" I ordered. "Its time for a mission of doooooooom!"

"Awww, but its a Saturday," GIR complained.

"LIES!" I shouted. "It's a friday,"

"Nuh uh, I checka-ded thee calendar and itsa Saturday," GIR said.

"MORE LIES!" I said as I pointed at him. "Besides just put on a suit anyways!"

GIR barfed up a calendar. He put the calendar at my face and I would have seen the day was Saturday if I wasn't grossed out by the horrid rancid smelling substance reeking from the floppyity paper.

"FINE, FINE, FINE!" I yelled as I tried to retreat from the smelly paper. "Just, get that ahway from meeee!"

GIR giggled.

"We need to egress... now!" I commanded.

We arrived at the tall studio and a hooman was there patrolling the area. I scratched the itch on my wig before going up to him. GIR hopped along.

"I need to ingress to your area patrolling human," I said. "I have an important meeting with the Membrane,"

"Oh yeah little fan?" the security person said. "And what makes you so special?"

"Oooooo! I tell you! What makes me superior!" I shouted.

Right away I handed the purple card.

The astonished human started making bubbly sounds with his fishy lips and then said after ahem-ing.

"Right this way, Mr. uh, president,"

I sneered as I went in dragging GIR by the neck on the floor. Before I entered the door that said "enter"

I turned to GIR who was on the floor slurping noisily on a suckie.

"GIR!" I whispered hoarsely. "Stop fooling around! And where did you get that suckie?"

"I found in the store," GIR replied, sounding like if it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

"This mission will succeed if you just listen to what I say!" I ordered. "Remember the moon GIR! Remember it well!"

GIR immediately stopped drinking the rainbow fluid. "The cheezy moon…" he repeated half dreamily.

"Now listen to your superior master..." I grinned. "GIR I want you to be yourself... but BETTER! Understand?"

"Yes'm," GIR replied. And started slurping again.

"The Membrane might be a genius but he is still human!" I sneered. "He will fall for anything! I assure you!"

"A dangerous genius..." GIR repeated.

"And if you done me well GIR you can have the moon, the waffles and box set of the angry monkey show."

GIR the started sniffing and started hugging my leg.

"I love you master," he cried.

"Yes, yes, I know, I'm overlord over all beings I get it," I said, trying to shake him off. "Now do as I say my minion!"

"Sir, yes, sir!" GIR frowned and gave a small salute.

We went into enter door. The blinding light of the studio made everything turn black, but I soon came to focus and I saw the Membrane sipping some liquidy caffeine. I grinned. Now my piggie human reader, prepare yourself, for this will be the beginning of the end of your lesser race!

GIR: I'm gonna to put a snack shop on my moon! Weehew!


End file.
